Owl Party

My baby is one... I don't know how this happened. Well, I do, but it's still a little hard to accept... the passing of time... my sweet little baby saying "night night" and walking across the room. November 3rd was full of remembering the bliss of those first moments together as a family... a new life, those little hands, the first snow fall on the day we brought him home from the hospital. Our lives changed forever, more full than we could have ever imagined.
And, so we celebrated... for him, and for ourselves. August is 1!

August

It is the end of August. I stare at the calender... I blink and another month has gone by. A lost song I once wrote comes into focus "You turn your head and summers gone, Autumn leaves are turning gold". I swear I heard the leaves crunch under my feet today when I took August out for a walk.
August is so full... I feel it might just burst at the seams. I went to the farm with my friend Amanda the other day to pick basil for pesto and cucumbers to make dill pickles. It is breathtaking there... sunflowers.bright.yellow. hanging their heads as if to pray. it is holy there. tomatoes green and red on the vine. I remember last year about this time. We were at the farm picking tomatoes for canning. My belly swollen and stretched to hold my baby. Bending to pick the tomatoes. I kept thinking it was like cutting the cord. I kept thinking about my child as a beautiful ripe tomato.
August is here. I'm trying to breathe it in. I want to can it and open it sometime in the dead of winter. The smell of summer, the green of basil, the hope of harvest. The love I have for my son August right now. I am bursting at the seams.

summertime

Here are a couple photos I took of August at six months old (in May).  

Dear August

Dear August,

Today is a rainy, grey day... a little chilly so we stayed in bed under the warm blankets, just a little longer today. Morning is my favorite time with you, when the day is new and you are all smiles. We took a walk downtown to the coffee shop, and Frances decided to follow us halfway before we walked her back home.  It must have looked funny, to see us walking down the street with our cat close behind. You love going on walks and looking up at all the new leaves on the trees.  Now, we are home, and you are sleeping in your room, warm and cozy in the crib your papa built for you.  I remember the night he brought it home, and we sat in your nursery and tried so hard to imagine the little soul who would come to live with us.  That night I told Papa..."I think this baby is coming soon"...and, sure enough, my water broke a couple of hours later, and we drove into the night to meet you.  

I love you, my darling boy.

Love,

Mama

More than I can hold

The air smells like lilacs... sweet perfume.  I can't get enough. I bring them inside by the armful, and arrange them in vases... lilacs are everywhere... we are breathing lilac air. I remember going to my grandparents home as a child in the spring. Grandpa Alvin would always cut me a big bunch of lilacs to take home...lavender and white and plum colored... more than I could hold.  

There are moments when I don't know if my heart can contain all this love... love for my son and my husband, love for my grandfather, the beauty of family, the fragrance of spring.  It's more than I can hold.

April came and went

April came and went, and here we are somewhere in the middle of May.  Easter turned into Mothers Day it seems overnight. I found my old green teacups, August found his toes... baby shoes were made, stories read (my new favorite book is Charley Harper ABC's... amazing artwork), Mimi and Tatu came for a visit, seeds were planted, songs sung.  The days spill over with possibility.  But, the sweetest time is spent staring at little fingers and toes, rocking on the front porch, watching spring unfold... every moment a gift.

Melt my heart

It is officially Spring now according to the calender... even though there was snow on the ground on the first of April in Minnesota. The snow has melted now, and the ground is thawing... slowly... revealing bits of green.
August and I went for a walk looking for signs of spring. Upon returning to the house, I was a little disappointed in the mostly grey/brown landscape that is Springtime in Minnesota. But, just as I was about to give up... we walked around the back of this old house we live in. And there, nestled up next to the white of the house, we discovered crocus... bright and purple and green...and white snow drops, pushing through the cold wet ground. Hope in the form of flowers.
August must have sensed my excitement, because he flashed the most beautiful smile... it melted my heart.

August Talks

30

Every year on my birthday since I was 23, I buy Quince... a flowering branch with delicate pink flowers that remind me of cherry blossoms.  I put them in a vase in a sunny spot and watch the blossoms unfold. I reflect on the (30) years that have passed and the new year ahead... full of hope and possibility... each day a gift from God, and another chance to bloom.

These days, I am living life in moments, and through the eyes of little August... everything is new. He is smiling now (on the verge of laughing). I am the lucky one who gets to wake every morning to his smile, and walk through this brand new world with him.

Maybe it's spring fever or just a burst of creativity, but, Steve has been busily sketching new designs in his notebook, and showing up at home with his new creations... a new wine rack made from re-claimed barn wood, and a pair of bamboo bed side tables.  He also recently finished painting the branch for the owls in the nursery.  I can't wait to see what is next...

Good Jul

I've been thinking a lot about traditions lately.  Maybe it's because I am a mother now, and I want our little family to have our own rituals that bring meaning and beauty to our everyday and the Holiday Season.  So, this Christmas I made Jul Bread (a swedish christmas bread), in honor of my Grandma Ogren and my swedish heritage... even though I later found out she made Saffron Bread.  

And, Christmas eve we had dinner with good friends before bundling up and driving through snowy fields to Valley Grove Church for a candlelight Christmas Eve Service.  Good Jul indeed.